Well, I made it to the gym on Monday! And I worked out! I "ran" for 2 miles (in which I speed walked for about 1 mile) and did work on the the weight machines. Sigh.. however, I haven't been back since and its now Wednesday night. I'm still pretty sore and its really hard to find the motivation to go after work. I think if I were to remember to bring my gym gear with me to work it would be better because once I get home after work it is really difficult to leave again (mostly because of the cold). My knee hurts a little now, but it didn't hurt while I was exercising, which is a good sign. So tomorrow the goal is to bring my gym bag and go after work.
I've also be so tired lately. I've gotten in a bad pattern of going to bed really late, having to wake up early and then I'm dragging all day. After work I'm so exhausted that I end up talking a nap for an hour or two and the cycle begins again. I feel old talking about taking naps and being "so tired."
Speaking of old, I'm going to be 27 in a few weeks. I typically don't like birthdays.. not because I don't like celebrating them, but because I don't like telling people that its my birthday (or when it is) and then I am secretly sad when no one blinks an eye at it. Sounds pretty immature actually. Growing up we always made kind of a big deal out of birthdays. We weren't the type of kids that got birthday "parties" per say, but my mom always decorated the entire house with streamer and balloons and it was a whole day of little surprises that made you feel special. A few years ago when I was living in the apartments at Oak Hills, my amazing roommates put together a really special day. Tami and Tiffany basically had cards and candy and little gifts given to me all throughout the day at my different classes and jobs. It didn't really end well, but that's a different story ;0. So, this year I might end up being in Atlanta with Karl for my birthday. He has a work conference down there and knows some friends so I might be able to tag along. That might make for an eventful birthday. We shall see.
I'm kind of in a bad mood today. I'm not exactly sure why. Its really clouding and gloomy out though so that might have a role to play. I'm still trying to find some meaning and purpose to living in Northern Minnesota. This is especially hard to swallow when I see what is going on in Haiti.. relief work has always had a special place in my heart and for a long time now I've really felt that that was what God has called me to do. I know I need to just be better about trusting Him with the details because right now that type of life feels very far away. Financially I can not even begin to imagine how I could afford to quit my job and either volunteer or get paid only living expenses. Between student loans and other things even losing my current job would be pretty detrimental. I just want to go though. I have itchy feet again and I'm having a really hard time getting through the "daily grind." I never really pictured myself being the person who had an "office" job.. working 8-4 Monday-Friday. So, I guess I'm still that lost girl from the early college years whose still trying to figure out what I want to do :)
I'm hoping to get more involved in a church here. Its hard in some ways because I don't really feel connected and I know how much effort that take to become connected. I do know that I need to take the initiative and just make it happen.. but sometimes its hard to put forth that effort all the time. Making friends as an adult definitely feels a little harder. In college most people are looking to make new friends and everyone is just kind of stewing in one pot so it makes getting to know people at least more accessible. Adults, however, have careers, often times have families and set group of friends. Adults definitely aren't as good at branching out (at least in my experience thus far). And I am certainly no exception. I just don't want to get stuck in a slump, and like I said, if I'm going to live here I have to make it work.. so here's to "making it work!"
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